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Literal Thinking
"Taking things literally" is one of the most misunderstood autism traits.
"What it actually means is not understanding when people say 'don't worry about it!' and mean 'I'm angry!'" — Late-diagnosed autistic adult
What "Literal" Actually Means
Not about missing jokes. It's about:
- Missing insincere statements: "I'm fine" when not fine
- Not detecting hints: "We should hang out" = polite dismissal
- Missing manipulation: Not recognizing lies because... why lie?
NT Phrases Decoded
| They say | They mean |
|---|---|
| "Don't worry about it" | Could be genuine OR "I'm still upset" |
| "That's interesting" | Often "I don't care" |
| "We should do this again" | Polite ending, not invitation |
Info Dumping as Connection
If I'm info dumping on you, it means I like you.
Sharing Stories = Relating
You respond with a related story meaning "I understand." NTs may hear "making it about yourself." Neither is wrong—different styles.
Veiled Threats Don't Work
"She tries to subtly intimidate me and it ALWAYS falls flat. Only realized later she was trying to threaten me." — Autistic employee
When you don't register subtext: power plays don't land.
What Helps
Understanding NTs: Ask directly: "Do you actually mean that?"
Being understood: "I'm asking literally." / "I'm sharing because I care, not to make it about me."
Direct communication isn't a deficit. It's more efficient.