The Internal Experience

What happens inside an autistic mind often doesn't match what others see.

The Constant Mental Activity

"A song playing on repeat and someone talking over it. I regularly get overstimulated by my own thoughts." — Autistic adult

Many experience relentless mental activity—like 2 or 3 TVs running non-stop. This isn't just "thinking a lot." It doesn't have an off switch.

What They See vs. What You Feel

What observers say	What you actually experience
"Doesn't make eye contact"	Eye contact makes it harder to think
"Restricted interests"	Deep, passionate expertise
"Insists on routines"	Real distress when things change

The "Missing the Manual" Feeling

"There was some secret manual everyone else had. I didn't know I was missing a tutorial level." — Autistic adult

Social rules that seem obvious to everyone else—always one step behind.

Avoidance as Coping

"Only making things worse by avoiding it but can't stop." — Autistic adult

Not opening gifts, not checking mail—it's protective, not laziness.

Your internal experience is valid even when invisible. The gap between what others see and what you feel is real.